You are only as sick as the secrets you keep

It's so easy to talk about life when we feel well and excited. Admit it, we shamelessly love sharing these moments on social media. But have you ever posted and thought in a split of a second to post something when you felt depressed, anxious, guilty, stressed and violated in every way of your being? How many of us talk openly about the struggles we not only faced but CURRENTLY are facing? I'd say not many. How come, though? Well, I'd say the the theory of survival of the fittest and Yuval Noah Harari's book is great starting point to think about this.

Be real. You are only as sick as the secrets you keep. You forget that you are the person in this very moment because of the things that have tested you. How can you forget that you have been carried to the edge of the world by thoughts that did not allow you to see tomorrow’s promise. Yes, you needed that promise as if the world owed you after it had defeated you. Numb is when you became when your soul turned into a blank canvas refusing to be painted. To see or even imagine colours became impossible. Time was running out whilst you were being carried to the edge of the world. You thought you were in control of everything but along the way you had forgotten that you were under the control of your own mind. As a snake it had sneaked upon you and without realising you were gone in this dark hole. Far gone that getting out seemed impossible. Yet, you refused to accept and surrender. It became so easy to pack your bags and leave life behind. You wear terrified for abandonment whilst in fact the only person who had abandoned you was you. Leaving the soul behind who really needed you. You never went back to understand. Because deep down you knew that understanding meant analysing decisions. Instead you kept going with a blurred view of the world. Blurred by the words that were never outspoken and tears that shouldn't have been shed.

Here is the shit you don’t want to talk about. You try again and again to get up, but then you slip and relapse and feel like a disappointment. Somewhere along the lines you see something that makes getting up worth again. I see now that even when the worst things happen to us we have the ability to get up again. Nothing is permanent in life. It’s going to be a life-long journey. We are the creators of of our own life. We’re all worth of being heard - even if it’s the ugly stuff. We’ve all felt out of place, lost, confused, misdirected. It’s up to us to create a place where we belong. When you feel that space is taken from you - demand it back because it's there for you. We are not supposed to feel homesick for the rest of our lives. We are supposed to make anywhere feel like home. The world is our home.

Things we are handed to in this world are supposed to make us more compassionate and understanding. I have come to accept my past and who I am, now it’s time to forgive. Yoga has been a beautiful journey that helped me to overcome many obstacles by turning me inside out. We were never broken nor meant to be put together, we just need tools that helps us to touch the core of our being so that we are able to see our love and light. This is who we really are.

Would you like to share your story? E-mail me on farihayoga@hotmail.com

Namasté